Ten ways to kill Io
by Toxic Poptart
Summary: Hello! This is basically a reload of my older story (same title). Please no flames, I can't delete any non-anonymous reviews so I have to reload. Any comments including "you're such a virgin" or "this story is trash" will be ignored.


Well hello. If you thought that Jo was long gone since the aether chronicles ended, well….

THINK AGAIN! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHH- ack, ack hough…ahem.

Yeah. So, without further ado, I present to you….TEN WAYS TO KILL IO!

Jo: DEAL WITH IT PEOPLE!

Me: um, jo, you're not supposed to come out until later .-.

Jo: oh, uh, sorry o.o *walks away*

Me: um, so, yeah…. MOVING ON!

NUMBER ONE :D:D:D:D!

Put poison in her water!

Jo stealthily sneaked up on the poor, helpless water bottle and dropped some spider eyes into it. The water obviously did not feel, for it turned a lovely emerald green. Like a ninja, Jo sneaked away and hid behind a bush.

Io walked up to her little picnic area and sat down. "hmm," Io said. "I don't remember taking green tea with me. Must be bad water." Io opened the bottle and dumped all the poison on the ground as Jo watched, absolutely horrified at the sight of all those wasted spider eyes. Suddenly, all the plants withered and died. Io witnessed this, and said, "WTH HAPPENED TO ALL THE PLANTS?!"

NUMBER TWOOOO! BE AFRAID!

Accidental suicide!

"Ok Creepy, you know the deal, right?"

"Yessssss, Josssephine…I walk up to her and blow up…"

"ok, go!"

Josephine's friend Creepy the creeper slowly walk up to Io who was mindlessly admiring the sight of a sheep genocide being performed by wolves. Creepy walked up, fitched, and…..got hit in the face by a golden sword. "Nice try, Creepy. You almost got me."

Looks like two was a fail.

Number three….yay.

Judging!

Jo had decided to judge Io's singing skills. So that she could kill her, of course. In two ways.

"Okay, I, I think I've heard just about enough of your complete and utter torture." Jo said in a scary good Simon Cowell voice.

"Okay, first off, there's bad," Jo pointed to C-13, Minecraft's personal DJ. "And then there's you." Jo pointed to Io, who look horrified at the fact that her cousin sounded just like Simon Cowell.

"Okay, zero for style, zero for quality, and, you know what, zero for everything."

Io felt a coma coming on due to the greatness of Jo's Simon Cowell impression.

"I'm sorry, but you are NOT gonna make it to Hollywood, I'm sorry, but get out of here."

Io fell into a deep coma.

"YESSS! I FINALLY KILLED MY BULLY COUSIN!"

Watch it, hotshot. She's just in a coma. She'll be back to dunking your head in a cauldron in two weeks.

"Aw man..."

FAIL

To be continued!

:3 bye. And please no hating, THIS MEANS YOU REVIEWER! LEAVE ME ALONE.

**A/N**

**IM BAAAAAAAAAAACK!**

**Ok people, here is how this is gonna go down. I am gonna do three chapters a week (maybe) so yea. MOVING ON!**

WAY FOUR!

She's still in a coma :D

Jo looked at her bully cousin who had fell into a coma and was now unconscious In the hospital in the Aether. She looked so peaceful.

But Jo was still gonna kill her.

She thought about maybe putting drugs down Io's throat, like in Cantarella, to make her sleep longer while she thought about other ways to kill her. Like stabbing her with a knife. Or a drug overdose.

The drug overdose sounds good, Jo.

"Gee, thanks."

You're welcome. Oh, by the way, you shouldn't be able to hear me. You should get that checked out while you're here.

"Oh."

Io went to go get some cleaning supplies to pour down her throat. She loaded up her pockets with Windex and went to Io's room. When she got back, she found Io in a wheelchair being pushed by Aalpha with the help of Caan.

"Good news, Jo! Io recovered from her coma early! Hey, what's that in your pocket?"

"Nothing.." Jo said rather glumly.

FAIL

Way Five!

Drugs

Since Jo had failed in her last attempt to drug Io, she decided that she would try again. So she bought some Crack and decided to give Io….

Wait for it….

A DRUG OVERDOSE!

By the by, Jo, did you get that hearing me thing checked?

"Yes. Turns out I'm too crazy for them to fix anything.

Darn…

Jo sprinkled the crack in her rice, thinking that since they were both white, Io wouldn't notice.

But she did.

And Jo got punched in the face.

FAIL

WAY SIX!

Hello, Readers. Since Jo isn't up yet, I'm going to tell you all her deepest and darkest secrets.

"WHAT."

Get up, stupid. We need one last way. I wanna play minecraft.

"Alright, alright."

MOB OVERLOAD!

Jo had gathered all her Enderman friends to kill Io, who was currently committing a cow genocide. Antvenom would be proud.

The Endermen teleported in a HUGE circle that was completely filled up, and surrounded Io.

An hour later, there were enderpearls scattered across the terrain, and Jo now has a black eye. Oh well.

FAIL

**A/N**

**I'M BACK BABY! AND I'M STRONGER THAN EVER!**

**If you didn't get that reference you led a deprived childhood :/**

WAYA SEVENA!

MASS GENOCIDE (I know, genocide joke's getting old…-.-)

Well Jo, I have to say, this is by far….

"Yep."

The cruelest…

"You betcha."

Most unbelievable…

"I know."

Thing….

"Oh yea."

That you have ever done.

"True. Dat."

Jo had made a simple redstone trap with droppers, spawn eggs (chickens to be precise), and lava.

An trust me, it was the most ANNOYING SOUND In the wide wide world of Minecraftia.

"AAAAHHHHH! MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT STOP!"

Io was screaming and running around her house like a chicken with its head cut off.

No pun intended.

Then all of a sudden, it stopped.

What happened, Jo?

"Uh oh."

What is it?

"I…uhhh…I ran out of spawn eggs."

Dear Notch have mercy on your soul.

"What?"

Io figured out it was you. Now that the noise has stopped, she can think.

"WHAT."

I'm out of here.

"NO! DON'T LEAVE ME! I-io, what is..no. PLEASE DON'T! AHHHHHHH!"

And that, kids, is why you should never annoy Io.

THE END.

FAIL

Number eight ^_^

DON'T SHIP THE WRONG CHARACTERS!

Io was sitting down at her computer writing a fanfiction. (YO DAWG I HEARD YOU LIKE FANFICS SO I PUT A FANFIC IN YO FANFIC SO YOU CAN WRITE WHILE YOU WRITE DAWWWWWWGGG)

Jo noticed this, and saw opportunity. So she busted into Io's room.

"WHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTT HOW DARE YOU SHIP BIG MACINTOSH WITH CHEERILEE HE BELONGS WITH FLUTTERSHY YOU IDIOT FLUTTERSHY!"

Io looked horrified. Her sister now knew that she was a pegasister.

"okay, Jo, I'll ship them. Just please leave."

"I WANT TO SEE YOU WRITE THOSE WORDS!"

"fine…"

Io made a mistake by typing in Cheerilee instead of Fluttershy due to nervousness.

"YOU SAID YOU WOULD SHIP FLUTTERSHY AND BIG MAC YOU LIAR!"

"Jo please leave."

"NO I CAN'T TRUST YOU!"

"…"

"THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT."

A scream was heard from Io's house.

Jo was never seen until a week later when Aalpha discovered her unconscious body.

FAIL

ITS NINE PEOPLES ERMAHGERD

Well, Jo, we only have two chapters left. How about we celebrate with a party?

"Why? How will that kill her?"

Punch.

"Wha-oh. That's just evil."

I know.

SOMEONE SPIKED MY DRINK

Jo sprinkled in some dissolving drugs into a punch bowl filled with punch, and filled two cups. One was spiked, one was not.

Then, as usual, Caan came to screw things up. He picked up the cups before Jo caught him and said, "Put those down! Their for me and Io."

Caan put them down. Just in the wrong order.

Jo gathered Io and handed her the un-spiked drink. "To this story almost being done." They took a sip.

Jo was drunk for the rest of the night and had to be taken to the hospital.

Oh well.

FAIL

DEAR GOD. IT'S THE LAST ONE. HOLY SHIZNIT GUYS.

ITS NUMBER TEN!

SHE FINALLY DIES!

YAYYYYYY

Jo woke up and decided to do the simplest of things.

_Today is the day…_ she thought. _I WILL kill Io today._

Ok guys.

Is your body ready for this?

Too bad.

Number ten.

Is.

Stab her with a knife.

Jo took out her best knife and walked over to Io's house.

"Hey Io," Jo said. Io turned around from her computer screen.

"The story's over."

Io thought about it for a minute, and agreed.

"You're right."

Soon, Jo was floating in the void.

Well, Jo. Looks like all of your ideas failed. I guess it's time to say goodbye now, right?

"yup."

Goodbye, readers.

And a very happy Joliday.

"What?"

You were so busy killing Io you forgot It's your birthday.

"FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF-"

THE END


End file.
